People are faced with decisions every day. Typically, we face hundreds, if not thousands, of decisions every single day. These decisions range from inconsequential (what flavor toothpaste do I use?) to life and death (do we stop life support for a family member?). Unfortunately, most people aren’t very good at making decisions. We see the result of our inability to make wise decisions by the politicians that we have elected and sent to Washington, D.C. We see it in the amount of credit card debt that most Americans carry. We see it in the fact that most people live from paycheck to paycheck. We see it in the fact that half of all American marriages end in divorce.
So, what’s a man to do with decision making? It’s a shame to say, but there are a lot of guys out there who would rather stand along the sidelines and not make difficult decisions, but let the natural progression of things take their course. The solution to this is to not bury your head in the sand, but to stand up and make a decision. It’s easy to wait it out and not decide. Unfortunately, by doing that, we really do make a decision: we decide to not decide.
It might take some prodding and some motivation. It might take someone outside of us (a parent, spouse, or friend) to help “force” us to make decisions. However, when a man starts making decisions for himself, a whole new world of possibilities will open up for him. There are too many men out there who feel helpless, like they don’t have any say in the direction their lives are headed. The way to counter that feeling is by taking charge and deciding to change the things in life that are changeable. Standing up and making decisions will boost your self-esteem, confidence, and performance as a man, husband, and father.
But there is another component to making decisions. It’s not enough to just make manly decisions. It’s important that men also make godly decisions. Making godly decisions takes three important parts: decisiveness (the ability to make decisions), time, and discernment (knowing when it’s really God talking, and not just our brains).
I’ve already addressed indecision above. But being decisive takes time. Namely, it takes time to pray and talk to God about decisions and listen to what He says in response. The truth is that most people just don’t take enough time to pray and tell God about their decisions. And, even if they take time to do that, most people don’t take the time to wait and listen for God’s response. Making godly decisions requires time. It’s not enough to spend 30 seconds before we make a decision and throw up a generic prayer and hope that we make the right choice. It takes a man spending daily time talking with God and listening to Him. As men, we have to be willing to sacrifice our time to talk to God so that when decisions come, we will be in tune with Him and know what to do.
That brings us to the final point: discernment. Knowing if God is really talking to you, or if it’s just your mind making stuff up is the most difficult part about being a godly man. It’s not something that happens overnight. In fact, even after spending a lifetime serving God, it can still be difficult hearing God’s voice. That’s because the world is full of distractions and those distractions speak louder than God, sometimes. That’s why it takes time to develop this skill. We have to learn to hear God’s voice and listen to Him. Jesus said that He is the good shepherd, and His sheep know His voice. We have to spend time talking with God to know what His voice sounds like. And, the good news is that the more time we spend doing what God tells us to do, the easier it is to hear Him.
An example of this is a few weeks ago, my wife and I were looking at purchasing a newer vehicle. We didn’t really have the extra money, so we were going to take out a loan from the bank. We had the vehicle picked out at an auto auction and we were going to bid on it. But before we did that, we both spent time praying about it. After spending some time in prayer, I felt like God was saying not to buy the vehicle. I told my wife this, and she confirmed that she felt the same way about it. As it turns out, it would’ve been disastrous for us to take out a loan and stretch ourselves too thin. We made the right decision, and it was the godly decision. I don’t think that we would’ve gone to hell for choosing to buy the vehicle, but I do think that it would’ve made our lives worse, rather than better. But since we included God in our decision making process, we have been blessed.
Bad decisions have been around since the beginning. If Adam would’ve made the godly, manly decision back in the garden of Eden, he would’ve chosen to keep his wife, Eve, and their home safe. He would’ve sent the serpent out of the garden and removed the temptation to sin from his family. But, he didn’t do anything. He stood back and watched events unfold, refusing to make a decision until it was too late. By the time his wife had eaten the fruit, what choice did he have left? Rather than stand up and do the godly, manly thing, he chose to let a snake make a decision for him that would have lasting effects throughout the rest of human history. Don’t let others make decisions for you. Stand up, be a man, and make good, godly decisions for yourselves, your families, and your world.
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